Gomvonmum is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, self-confident elephant.

Gomvonmum created Asia nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomvonmum, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gomvonmum, she will turn you into a dog.

Gomvonmum's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Gomvonmum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat oranges.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.