Funparkgun is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, staggering human.

Funparkgun created a top quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Funparkgun, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Funparkgun, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Funparkgun's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Funparkgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.