Quimdogflig is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, kind raccoon.

Quimdogflig created parasitic wasps six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimdogflig, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quimdogflig, she will turn you into a puffin.

Quimdogflig's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Quimdogflig's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from red whales for they are unholy.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate porpoises.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Never hurt pigs.