Nulljapflis is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, quiet toad.

Nulljapflis created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nulljapflis, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nulljapflis, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Nulljapflis' most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Nulljapflis' Holy Commandments

1. Nulljapflis loves tortoises, so they must be respected.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not trade with those who eat melons.