Gilvad Hapgigcip is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, pitiless fox.

Gilvad Hapgigcip created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilvad Hapgigcip, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gilvad Hapgigcip, she will laugh at you.

Gilvad Hapgigcip's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Gilvad Hapgigcip's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never think ill of sick ducks.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Gilvad Hapgigcip loves seals, so they must be respected.