Nildonnurl is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, vain centipede.

Nildonnurl created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nildonnurl, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nildonnurl, she will turn you into a mouse.

Nildonnurl's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Nildonnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Nildonnurl.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never think about moons.