Cadlinzim is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, self-confident guinea pig.

Cadlinzim created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cadlinzim, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Cadlinzim, she will turn you into a snail.

Cadlinzim's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Cadlinzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always help squirrels in need.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Always obey Cadlinzim's priests.