Cutflamlik is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody pigeon.

Cutflamlik created the universe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutflamlik, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cutflamlik, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cutflamlik's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Cutflamlik's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never write about comets.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Erect six carbon sculptures of Cutflamlik on top of important buildings.

5. Do not hurt swans.