Mipwitjon is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, charitable alligator.

Mipwitjon created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mipwitjon, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Mipwitjon, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Mipwitjon's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Mipwitjon's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think ill of sick sharks.

4. Hide from blue goats for they are unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.