Fithigxem is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, compassionate badger.

Fithigxem created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fithigxem, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fithigxem, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fithigxem's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Fithigxem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always help sick aardvarks.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. You must pray to Fithigxem five times a day.