Queegvabpit is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, amazing seal.

Queegvabpit created life six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Queegvabpit, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Queegvabpit, he will be very unhappy.

Queegvabpit's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Queegvabpit's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat figs.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Queegvabpit on top of all buildings.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.