Hoghakflandap is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, temperamental giraffe.

Hoghakflandap created the Andromeda Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hoghakflandap, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hoghakflandap, it will manifest in front of you.

Hoghakflandap's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Hoghakflandap's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Always wear turquoise.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never wear skirts.