Zagwigmum is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, emotional wolf.

Zagwigmum created the planet Mars nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zagwigmum, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zagwigmum, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Zagwigmum's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Zagwigmum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ants.

2. Zagwigmum loves sharks, so they must be respected.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never bounce in the presence of porpoises.