Paddudyak is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, emotional yak.

Paddudyak created life two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Paddudyak, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Paddudyak, she will turn you into a mouse.

Paddudyak's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Paddudyak's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.