Xinyimcen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, competent porpoise.

Xinyimcen created life nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xinyimcen, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xinyimcen, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Xinyimcen's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Xinyimcen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never paint your face fawn.

5. Do not commit murder.