Barndibpag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthoughtful dove.

Barndibpag created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Barndibpag, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Barndibpag, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Barndibpag's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Barndibpag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Barndibpag.

5. Worship no other gods but Barndibpag.