Kabvaglogbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, strong gerbil.

Kabvaglogbonk created the Milkyway three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabvaglogbonk, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kabvaglogbonk, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Kabvaglogbonk's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Kabvaglogbonk's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Kabvaglogbonk five times a day.

2. Never eat pineapples.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.