Gepbatdab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, moody goose.

Gepbatdab created Europe two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gepbatdab, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Gepbatdab, she will send you a sign.

Gepbatdab's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Gepbatdab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

3. Do not speak about tomatoes.

4. Always look after injured grasshopers.

5. Never think about comets.