Bogcinmot Hunkinlop is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, merciless wolf.

Bogcinmot Hunkinlop created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Bogcinmot Hunkinlop, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bogcinmot Hunkinlop, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Bogcinmot Hunkinlop's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bogcinmot Hunkinlop's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick ducks.

2. Always wear white.

3. Never wear boots.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never laugh in the presence of manatees.