Mapcatjen is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, smart hare.

Mapcatjen created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mapcatjen, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Mapcatjen, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Mapcatjen's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Mapcatjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Mapcatjen.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.