Vonkgepgid is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, benevolent beaver.

Vonkgepgid created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonkgepgid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vonkgepgid, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Vonkgepgid's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Vonkgepgid's Holy Commandments

1. Vonkgepgid loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not eat pineapples.

3. Always treat pigs with great respect.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not bounce in public.