Batpopnell is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, intelligent mink.

Batpopnell created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Batpopnell, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Batpopnell, it will send you a sign.

Batpopnell's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Batpopnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about cell theory.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Never eat gooseberries.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.