Gessnutfad is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, fast deer.

Gessnutfad created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessnutfad, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gessnutfad, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gessnutfad's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gessnutfad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Gessnutfad.

4. Never mention tapirs.

5. You must pray to Gessnutfad three times a day.