Yakmadkim is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, moody naga.

Yakmadkim created a quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakmadkim, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yakmadkim, she will come to you in dreams.

Yakmadkim's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yakmadkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never wear pink stockings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.