Nadwapbunlamgar is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, staggering guinea pig.

Nadwapbunlamgar created life eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nadwapbunlamgar, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Nadwapbunlamgar, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nadwapbunlamgar's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Nadwapbunlamgar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nadwapbunlamgar.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Nadwapbunlamgar on top of important buildings.