Narlquatwipnib is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, quiet mole.

Narlquatwipnib created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Narlquatwipnib, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Narlquatwipnib, it will turn you into a sheep.

Narlquatwipnib's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Narlquatwipnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never write about gravity.

5. Always help snakes in need.