Voltonkfet is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, contented bird.

Voltonkfet created the world six million years ago.

If you believe in Voltonkfet, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Voltonkfet, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Voltonkfet's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Voltonkfet's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always look after injured mites.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Fast once a month.