Bodjatyim Mifmisten is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witless zebra.

Bodjatyim Mifmisten created a top quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bodjatyim Mifmisten, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bodjatyim Mifmisten, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bodjatyim Mifmisten's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bodjatyim Mifmisten's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bodjatyim Mifmisten.

2. Run away from yellow gulls, for they are unholy.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never wear magenta skirts.