Nurtnutzen is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, happy goose.

Nurtnutzen created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtnutzen, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nurtnutzen, it will not invite you to parties.

Nurtnutzen's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Nurtnutzen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not kill grasshopers.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a room before entering it.