Carwigcitgup is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, clever centipede.

Carwigcitgup created an electron five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Carwigcitgup, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Carwigcitgup, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Carwigcitgup's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Carwigcitgup's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never jump near badgers.

3. Put Carwigcitgup first in all things.

4. Retreat if three dolphins approach from the east.

5. Do not make images of living things.