Largpitbegjencudkan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, unsympathetic donkey.

Largpitbegjencudkan created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Largpitbegjencudkan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Largpitbegjencudkan, he will not invite you to parties.

Largpitbegjencudkan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Largpitbegjencudkan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always help birds in need.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.