Bafkapteen is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, loving wolf.

Bafkapteen created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafkapteen, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Bafkapteen, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Bafkapteen's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Bafkapteen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.