Lagvedfig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, conceited rat.

Lagvedfig created a bottom quark four years ago.

If you believe in Lagvedfig, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lagvedfig, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lagvedfig's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Lagvedfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Hide if nine sharks approach from the west.

4. Hide from black horses for they are unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.