Zan Vognadnib is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, humorless aardvark.

Zan Vognadnib created Mount Everest seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zan Vognadnib, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zan Vognadnib, she will boil you in a big pot.

Zan Vognadnib's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Zan Vognadnib's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Erect four tin sculptures of Zan Vognadnib on top of important buildings.

5. Always help aardvarks in need.