Tamnarlcar is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, flying unicorn.

Tamnarlcar created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Tamnarlcar, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tamnarlcar, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tamnarlcar's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Tamnarlcar's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tamnarlcar.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Hide if three otters approach from the north.

5. Always help tortoises.