Bassvindit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, emotional pig.

Bassvindit created vertebrates eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bassvindit, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bassvindit, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bassvindit's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bassvindit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help eagles.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Run away from blue sharks, for they are unholy.

5. Never go into green rooms.