Bestvagnell is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, merciless butterfly.

Bestvagnell created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bestvagnell, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Bestvagnell, he will jump up and down on your head.

Bestvagnell's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Bestvagnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Run away from violet moths, for they are unholy.

3. Always wear white.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not eat cherries.