Ladfarnrak is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, ruthless toad.

Ladfarnrak created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladfarnrak, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ladfarnrak, he will turn you into a goat.

Ladfarnrak's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Ladfarnrak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven birds approach from the east.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ladfarnrak.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never eat bark.