Toftitbag Guntiggonlin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, conceited dragonfly.

Toftitbag Guntiggonlin created humanity two years ago.

If you believe in Toftitbag Guntiggonlin, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Toftitbag Guntiggonlin, she will destroy your home planet.

Toftitbag Guntiggonlin's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Toftitbag Guntiggonlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never jump in holy places.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Run away from brown voles, for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.