Koppakkin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, vain guinea pig.

Koppakkin created a quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Koppakkin, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Koppakkin, he will throw large rocks at you.

Koppakkin's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Koppakkin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Retreat if four otters approach from the west.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Koppakkin.