Dimtigham is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, all-powerful crow.

Dimtigham created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Dimtigham, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Dimtigham, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dimtigham's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Dimtigham's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Dimtigham on top of all buildings.