Yatmisquim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, amazing hippopotamus.

Yatmisquim created the Virgo Supercluster seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatmisquim, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Yatmisquim, he will turn you into a mole.

Yatmisquim's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Yatmisquim's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are not to be trusted.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not speak about parsnips.

4. Do not dye your hair purple.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.