Gepfumfob is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, proud grasshopper.

Gepfumfob created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepfumfob, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gepfumfob, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Gepfumfob's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Gepfumfob's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never go into yellow rooms.

3. Never hurt aardvarks.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not commit murder.