Labvadben is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, annoying whale.

Labvadben created time and space two million years ago.

If you believe in Labvadben, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Labvadben, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Labvadben's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Labvadben's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never mention shrews.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.