Yamlarntetti Pakquimsandget Dongempang is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, sapient hyena.

Yamlarntetti Pakquimsandget Dongempang created bats five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamlarntetti Pakquimsandget Dongempang, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Yamlarntetti Pakquimsandget Dongempang, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Yamlarntetti Pakquimsandget Dongempang's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Yamlarntetti Pakquimsandget Dongempang's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill voles.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Do not speak about lentils.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.