Badfastansinzimkar is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, omnipotent eagle.

Badfastansinzimkar created light three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Badfastansinzimkar, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Badfastansinzimkar, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Badfastansinzimkar's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Badfastansinzimkar's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured dogs.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Never eat bark.