Getgumcit is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, ruthless fly.

Getgumcit created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Getgumcit, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Getgumcit, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Getgumcit's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Getgumcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of monkeys.

2. Worship no other gods but Getgumcit.

3. Cats are not to be trusted.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always treat snails with great respect.