Ganyatvegpak is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, happy penguin.

Ganyatvegpak created an electron six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganyatvegpak, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ganyatvegpak, he will send you a sign.

Ganyatvegpak's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ganyatvegpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick porpoises.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ganyatvegpak.

5. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.