Bosstamsak is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, competent octopus.

Bosstamsak created the Milkyway two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bosstamsak, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bosstamsak, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bosstamsak's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Bosstamsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed beans to seals while wearing gray hats.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not bounce in public.

5. Respect your elders.