Daptapnan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, resourceful tapir.

Daptapnan created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Daptapnan, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Daptapnan, he will turn you into a frog.

Daptapnan's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Daptapnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Run away from pink tapirs, for they are unholy.